07 May 2009

Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits

An introduction to the friendly (or not so friendly) horn in your average developing country.

"Toot!" - Hello, I am acknowledging your presence and just letting you know that I have seen you.  Also, if you have not yet seen me, I am here.

"TootToot" - Hello, I acknowledge your acknowledgement and am thanking you for the courtesy you afforded me.

"TootTootToot" - No worries, how ARE the wife and kids?  Its been so long since little Subas has been to visit.

"BIP!" - Excuse me, I'm coming through.

"BIPbipBIPbipBIPbipBIPbipBIP" - Sorry, my child appears to have taken over control of the steering wheel and is playing with its horn.

"BAAARRRRP!" - You ^*%(^#(* idiot, you're in my way and I almost died trying to miss [hit] you.

"BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRWWWWnnnnnnnnnnnn" - I'M COMING THROUGH THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS AT AN INCREDIBLY FAST SPEED and now i'm gooooooooooooonnnnnnnne"

"DOOTDOODOODLE IDDLYPOP!" [to the tune of A Spoonful of Sugar] - I have too much time on my hands and I have tinkered with my horn (i mean, the one on my my truck) to annoy the living hell out of you!

"DIDDLE-IIIIIDLE-DIDDLE-IIIIIDLE-DIDDLE-IIIIIDLE"  - sorry, I think its stuck.

"FFFFNOOOOOOOOORRRRRRHNNNNNN" - Maybe I can make this traffic jam move faster by blowing my horn.

"NGAK NGAK NGAK NGAK" - look at me I have a horn on my rickshaw that sounds like a DUCK [angry mob] "so, if she weighs more than a duck...she's a witch?  and therefore?  BURN HER!".

"Briiiiiiiing" - I am at the bottom of the food chain and I only have a crappy little bell - ummm... excuse me.


2 comments:

Skye said...

I think you have managed to capture the horn quite nicely! I think the Chinese must have been talking with the Nepalese... :)

Yeti said...

haah! that is hands down the most interesting take on all the horn-honking i have ever heard. i really enjoyed how you typed them all out phonetically. well done.