I'm not a super happy glowy person. People think that I am. I am extroverted and outgoing, can be charming and romantic if I want to be. I am those things, but I am cynical and dark too. Not all the time, obviously. And not always at the same time, that's just too emo.
Strong emotions at both ends of the scale are so close to each other it surprises me. Love and hate. Laughter and melancholy. Contentment and menace.
Like new-fangled mobile phones where two buttons are so close to each other. You go to push one, but accidentally get the other. A song that flicks a switch in the brain from one mode to the next.
I feel like I'm in limbo, in statis. I haven't felt like I used to feel. Everything is different. Has it gone away? Am I still the same person? I felt a strong affinity for that guy. He was intelligent and astute. Sure, he could be lonely and dejected, but that just allowed him to be set apart. Did something happen while I was sleeping? Is it just buried and waiting to resurface?
A sense of confusion turned to sureness by the not just yet full moon. The confusion lingers in the shadows of the buildings in a walk inspiring a sense of incomparable conviction on a subject that is nothing in particular. A solid sense of deep 'n meaningfulness that's not really there.
Perhaps that's enough insight for tonight.